Chapter One

One sunny day, a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the weather. The day was so nice that the rabbit became careless, and a fox sneaked up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch!" said the fox.

"Wait!" replied the rabbit. "You should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?" sneered the fox.

"I am almost finished writing my Ph.D. thesis," the rabbit said

"Hah! That's a stupid excuse. What is the title of your thesis anyway?"

"I am writing a thesis on `The Superiority Of Rabbits Over Foxes And Wolves.'"

"Are you crazy? I should eat you right now!" the fox snarled. "Everybody knows that a fox will always win a fight with a rabbit."

"Not really, according to my research," said the rabbit. "If you'd like, you can come to my hole and read it for yourself. If you're not convinced, you can go ahead and have me for lunch."

"You really are crazy!" replied the fox. But the fox was pretty curious, and figured he had nothing to lose, so he went with the rabbit into its hole. The fox never came back out.

Chapter Two

A few days later the rabbit was again taking a break from writing. Sure enough, a wolf came out of the bushes, caught the rabbit, and was getting ready to eat her.

"Wait!" yelled the rabbit, "you cannot eat me right now."

"And why might that be, you fuzzy appetizer?"

"I am almost finished writing my Ph.D. thesis on "The Superiority Of Rabbits Over Foxes And Wolves.'"

The wolf laughed so hard it almost lost its hold on the rabbit. "Maybe I shouldn't eat you-- you really are sick in the head and you might have something contagious!" the wolf opined.

"Come read for yourself. You can eat me after that if you disagree with my conclusions."

So the wolf went into the rabbit's hole... and like the fox, he never came back out.

Chapter Three

A few weeks later, the rabbit finished writing her thesis and was out celebrating in the lettuce fields. Another rabbit came by and asked, "What's up? You seem to be very happy."

"Yup, I just finished writing my dissertation."

"Congratulations! What is it about?"

"It is entitled `The Superiority Of Rabbits Over Foxes And Wolves.'"

"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."

"Oh, yes, you should come over and read for yourself."

So they went off together to the rabbit's hole.

As they entered, the friend saw what looked like a typical graduate student abode-- albeit a rather messy one after writing a thesis. The computer with the controversial dissertation was in one corner of the room. On the right there was a pile of fox bones, on the left was a pile of wolf bones, and in the middle was a lion.

And the moral of the story is:

Who you are doesn't matter. What the title of your dissertation is doesn't matter.

All that matters is who your thesis advisor is.

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